Grow

I never believed in the Easter Bunny.

Seriously, think about it, who possibly could believe in such a large rabbit carrying eggs around and randomly laying eggs at peoples houses (Rabbits don't lay eggs dangit!).

Instead I chose to place my faith in a much more plausible idea. As a young lad I had no doubt that an elderly overweight man would arrive once a year via chimney. It didn't matter to me that I had not seen so much as a squirrel squeeze down the hole in my roof, I just knew Santa could do it. Not only would he visit my house but he would make that venture to the homes of 6.75 billion people all in that same night.

My belief was that Mr. Claus would come in the midst of night while everyone was asleep carrying a enormously large bag that had no limitations in how much it could carry. Rather than placing items into the bag he would actually take out gifts which were marked with names in which they were to be delivered.

This was my conviction for at least the first six to eight years of my life.

Little did I know my world was about to be

shaken.

I really don't know why I still have this memory, maybe it is more trauma inducing memory than I give it credit for. It all started in elementary school, 2nd grade recess just before Christmas break. I was having a conversation with a dastardly classmate about the presents I was expecting to receive from jolly old St. Nick. At that moment the rotten nincompoop classmate blurts out

"You still believe in Santa Claus? I've seen my parents wrap my gifts for me. "

My immediate reaction was shock and disbelief........

There HAD to be an explanation....

.............

.........(thinking)

...............................................

Got it!
Obviously this poor poor child was a bad bad child and all Santa left was a lump of coal which his parents found and in order to cover it up, they played Santa!..

This explanation was satisfactory enough to reestablish the equilibrium of my world at least, momentarily.

As Christmas arrived, I had to know for sure. In the short existence of my life, all I had ever known was a world with a Jolly fat man dressed in red. There was no possible way I was wrong.
I mean Christmas worked like clockwork.

I sleep Christmas eve, wake up Christmas morning to find my treats that traveled from the north. There had only been one explanation, and that was Santa.

But now I had two explanations, what if, what if I was WRONG?. I needed to know the truth no matter it would cost me. I pretended to go to bed on Christmas Eve night, taking the chance that Santa simply wouldn't come because I was wide awake. If I didn't get anything at least I knew he didn't come because I prevented him from coming by staying awake. Knowing the truth more valuable than the years worth of gifts. I stayed awake

and to my horror

I didn't hear Santa, I didn't hear sleigh bells. I started to remember how in previous years I had baked cookies and cooked carrots for Santa and his reindeer. I even wrote Santa a note!

What I heard were my parents, my entire world had just collapsed. I didn't come out that night to see them wrapping the gifts, hearing it was torture enough. I now knew the truth.

-------------
I've found in my life the best way to grow is to learn how really wrong you are. If there is one main culprit who notoriously known for making mistakes, it is me. Perpetrating the mistakes is not enough, at the moments I commit these crimes I believe that I'm 153.5%(I'm actually sure that this is the correct percentage to use here) sure that what I am doing is the best way to do it.


Truth does something funny though. For some reason I HAVE to know the truth. The value of truth no matter the cost is worth it.


I.e. Remember The Matrix? (Sorry if facts are wrong, I suck at movie remembering but again I'm pretty positive I'm correct) We are presented with Neo, living in a seemingly normal life in modern day America is on the search for truth. He is presented to Morpheus. In this encounter Morpheus presents Neo a magical red pill that would help him find his answers on his venture to truth.

Neo is presented a choice to pursue truth.

What even drives Neo to take that pill? How can He even trust that that pill wouldn't present certain death? What if the truth isn't really what he wants to know? That is what truth does, it causes people go to enormous lengths to find it.


When watching this movie, we are all rooting for Neo to take the pill, fully knowing he is being lied to about his life. It doesn't matter it is probably safer for Neo to stay in his everyday life being lied to.

Neo must respond somehow to the truth.

Neo can no longer live in his fabricated world, no matter how much more it offers than the unfortunate reality of the Matrix. This fabricated world represents safety, ignorant bliss, a world in which is already known. Truth has caused Neo to wrestle, it has caused him to grow, and ultimately pursuing truth has caused him to find things in himself that he did not know possible. Neo would have never known he was the One without ever pursuing truth, he would have never known that he could do all those nifty tricks inside the matrix if the truth was never pursued.


To grow many times we must search out the truth, no matter how much it may hurt us. Not all of us are up to that task (only a select few who were willing knew the truth of the matrix), but to those who are, you will find things about yourself that you never deemed possible.


grow

-jaymo (A work in progress)